Did She Still?
by jayellex
Summary: Why? Why did she entrance him so? It was more than just her beauty. Why was he attracted to her so easily? Why was it that he could not bring himself to tell her the truth? He wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her so badly. So why couldn't he do it? (Uploaded wrong story before, fixed!)


**Hey guys! **

**This is a brother fic with _Did He Really?_ It doesn't really matter which order you read in, though.**

* * *

_**Did She Still?**_

She burned with the dangerous, fiery passion of a wildfire, but at the same time, with the warming, protective embrace of flickering flames.

He was the calm, serene ocean waters. But he could also quickly become the raging torrent of a hurricane.

* * *

_Did she still?_

_Did she still think about his memory?_

_Did she still think about everything they had said?_

_Did she still think about everything they had done?_

_Did she still think about how they had felt?_

_Did she still think about what they had promised?_

_Did she still?_

* * *

It made no difference how much time passed. To him, those questions felt like they had been with him all his life— from even before they met.

* * *

Everything had happened so quickly. He was caught up in an unstoppable vortex.

He hadn't been able to think.

Only act.

And by doing that, he may have confined himself to those questions forever.

* * *

He hated lying. Especially to her.

Lying was an ugly, ugly thing. But he did it anyway.

He lied to her when she asked about his memory.

He lied to her when she asked about his feelings.

He lied to her when she asked about the truth.

* * *

He hated pretending, too.

He still did it, though.

Pretending that he was perfectly fine.

Pretending that all he cared about was beauty.

Pretending that she was making up nonsense.

* * *

How long had he been doing this?

Four, maybe five, years?

He still remembered, quite clearly, in fact, everything leading up to that fateful day.

Meeting her, fighting with her, fighting alongside her, obtaining the orbs, training with her... and her confession.

And he remembered everything that happened after.

* * *

It was not always like this.

He had not always felt the need to lie to her.

When he told her he didn't remember anything, he _was_ telling the truth. That is, in the beginning, at least.

He really had forgotten. For a little bit.

After the whole ordeal, he had wanted to block it all out. Erase it all. All those painful memories.

* * *

He remembered the gray-haired champion dying, who had sacrificed his life summoning the Regis to try to save the world.

He remembered an older version of himself dying, who had sacrificed his life summoning the last of the Weather Trio to try to help his son.

He remembered an ex-coordinator and new friend dying, who had sacrificed her life trying to help him bring balance to the world again.

No; he had not wanted to remember what had happened.

* * *

So what did he do?

He blocked it all out, of course. It wasn't hard. Even if it did not look like it, the trauma had gotten to him. So he forced it out of his memory.

Among the things he forced out, was her confession.

* * *

Of course, that reprieve could only last for so long.

It wasn't long before the memories came back.

It wasn't long before the pain came back.

It wasn't long before the shock came back.

* * *

He had tried to erase the memories again by sheer willpower, but it didn't work. He wasn't sure if he really wanted to forget... _her._

She was special.

If you had told him years ago that he would fall hopelessly in love with a wild, messy, _barbarian_... with a _battler_ who would find nothing wrong with wearing nothing but leaves...

Well, he would have pointed you towards the mental institute.

* * *

She was beautiful, really.

It was a sort of rough beauty, both inside and out.

She didn't see it, but he did.

And trust him, he _knew_ beauty.

* * *

Why?

Why did she entrance him so? It was more than just her beauty.

Why was he attracted to her so easily?

Why was it that he could not bring himself to tell her the truth?

He wanted to tell her.

He wanted to tell her _so badly_.

So why couldn't he do it?

* * *

He told himself it was because of her.

Her never-ending energy and smiles.

She looked... happy.

She smiled, she laughed, she joked. She went on with her life, like she was the one who had forgotten their confessions.

She had stopped pursuing the subject.

Was it... was it because she no longer felt the same way? Was it because he had waited too long?

Of course, he had known she wouldn't wait forever. But, he had hoped it'd be a little longer. Just a little longer. Even if it had already been years.

* * *

He was too late, wasn't he?

She had moved on. She saw him as a friend, didn't she? A friend and nothing more.

So he decided he would too. He would paint smiles on his face and bury what he wanted to scream when she was around. He would make the perfect disguise. There was no grace or beauty in tears and anger and broken dreams.

After all, he was the master of beauty.

* * *

Maybe if he pretended long enough, she would forget all the pain he had caused her.

Maybe they could go back to when his mind wasn't a jumbled mess and his heart wasn't much better off.

Maybe she would find someone who didn't constantly lie to her.

He didn't deserve to have her.

* * *

That's what he told himself.

He told himself she was happy, she was fine.

He told himself that he was doing her a favor, letting her move on.

He told himself he didn't deserve her, that she lost her feelings for him, anyways.

But deep inside, he knew the truth.

* * *

He knew why his mouth was shut when he saw her.

He knew why he kept chains around his heart.

He knew why it hurt so painfully when he had to lie.

He knew why his Pokémon looked at him worriedly when locked himself in his room and wouldn't come out.

* * *

It was because he still loved her.

With every fiber of his being.

Cheesy, right?

But it was true.

And the reason he could not, _would __not, _tell her? The _real_ reason?

It was simple, really.

He was afraid.

So very afraid.

* * *

He was a coward. Yes, that's all he was.

He was scared to tell her. He was scared to see her reaction.

What if she really didn't love him anymore?

He didn't want to risk their friendship. He wouldn't know what to do without her.

What if she looked at him differently after finding out? What if she wouldn't forgive him for lying for so long?

He wasn't ready to handle it. Would he ever?

* * *

Every day, he promised himself he would confess.

Every day, he got up with newfound confidence, and groomed himself to perfection.

Every day, he walked with purpose to where they were to meet and see her coming towards him.

Every day, his resolve would crumble, leaving him with only his disguise to fall back on.

And every day, he broke his promise.

And with every passing day... every passing hour, or minute, or second... with every passing _moment_ it became harder and harder to keep that promise.

* * *

**...**

**Ah! It's been so long since I uploaded something... I was actually writing two other ones, but then I suddenly felt the urge to write this. It was kind of harder getting into Ruby's head. Sapphire was much easier to write ;-;**

**This quickly became 1000+ words, though... so I felt the need to go the Sapph's version and lengthen that to 1000+ words, too xD Go read Sapph's version if you haven't!**

**And thank you to Burysamo, Kidd Icarus and supersexyghotmew95 for reviewing "_Did He_ Really?"! It's great reading your thoughts ^_^**

**Thanks to Burysamo for giving me the idea to write a Ruby version of "_Did He Really?"_!**


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